Life is messy

So why do we pretend that it is not? We are all afraid of opening up and being who we are… exposing all of our hurt and mess, along with our joy and excitement. We are afraid that if people REALLY knew who we are they would reject us… and some may have rejected you in the past for this very reason. However, we have made a strategic decision to be a part of a community where we value openness and reality. The reality is that we all have things in our lives that we wish we could change. It is ridiculous for us to dwell on or compare our mess being somehow messier than the person sitting across the room. Mess is mess. The quickest way to clean up any mess is to get someone to help you do it. The more the better… Trust is a difficult thing for most of us. We have all been betrayed and hurt in the past, some worse than others. However, does it really do us any good to remain closed off to real, life-changing relationship because some other insecure, wounded person wounded us, too? Is it any surprise the cycle continues?

Putting myself out there is a hard thing to do. I have been rejected so many times… on so many levels that sometimes it makes me sick to remember. I was called viscious names early in life because I am not good at sports, as well as for other reasons I was oblivious to then. It was not until I was in COLLEGE that I began to come into my own and shed some of the weight of that… to know what being a man REALLY is. Even to this day I still struggle with confidence because of it and find myself on the needy side all too often with my closest friends. (Yes, my facade of confidence is a complete JOKE!) =)

Know what I have learned through all of this? I am not alone… the circumstances might be different for others, but the results are similar. We have all been hurt. But we can help each other clean the wounds and actually HEAL! I know that it took my best friend to snap me out of my own self-loathing that others had knowingly or unknowingly “helped” me develop. I am determined to repay that favor by doing the same thing for as many as I can. Real, true, open and honest relationship changed who I am and how I see myself. It can do the same for you. It may hurt a little, maybe even a lot, in the beginning. True honesty is a contact sport! But as with any muscle that you start working out for the first time, it will eventually get stronger and make you more powerful overall.

It is time to stop pretending everything is ok all the time. Life is messy… have I said that enough?