Loving others more than ourselves…

Loving others more than ourselves… it’s really important. I read lots of blogs, have a decent social media presence, listen to sermons online, devour all kinds of news outlets and interact with all kinds of folks. One of the trends in the “talk” of preachers (really good ones) and other folks who wear the banner of “Christian” is to constantly refer to those who “stab you in the back”, aren’t “real friends”, “hold you back”, aren’t “there for you”, etc. The next logical step in these trains of thought is to give themselves (and everyone else) permission to run away from those kinds of people, leave them behind, whatever. After all, they don’t really care about you, right? I’m seeing it everywhere. It seems odd to me and taking the self-help thing a bit too far. In a vibrant, real and Godly community of Faith, mature believers should be focused far more on being there for and serving others. Anything else seems like an immature, selfish mentality. Will we be hurt, betrayed, abandoned? Yes, but Jesus was, too, as were the apostles and martyrs of the Faith. Yet… they continued their journey of serving, encouraging and being there for others, ultimately giving their very lives. There isn’t much evidence of them whining about being betrayed, folks not listening when they complained, etc. 

Do we have times where we need to lean and rely on others? Definitely… all the time. Do we need good, completely mutual friends? Absolutely… I have several. Perhaps if our focus was BEING one, we’d HAVE more. If we were more concerned about supporting and serving OTHERS, wouldn’t that naturally solve the problem? Seems that the root of these issues is that we don’t like what’s being said to us, how we’re being challenged or our own perceived needs (AKA wants), so we run away and call it self-preservation. Do we need to surround ourselves with people who speak life into us? Yes. We should remember, though, that speaking life doesn’t always feel good in the moment. Rather than being with folks who make us feel good all the time, we need to be around others who love us enough to help us get better every day, whatever that may look like on any given day. We can’t blame the “enemy” for our choices, but there’s nothing he likes more than exploiting thin skin that causes broken relationship.

I love being surrounded by folks who challenge me to grow in my faith, relationships, etc. They don’t allow me to wallow in my own self-pity because they know I’m stronger than that, no matter how I feel at the moment. They tell me the truth (in love), whether I want to hear it or not. I’m stronger because of them. When I’m wrong, they tell me I’m wrong. When I’m right, they tell me that, too, and celebrate all life’s victories with me. They’re the very embodiment of the Holy Spirit enabling me to get passed my own issues and not allow them to control me. After all, the Spirit’s not properly discerned in isolation, but in community. That’s the kind of person I aim to be. I know what it’s done for me. I’m a better man… and getting even better, every day.